The New Fantastic Four Reboot

I don’t blame Fox for rebooting a series that was never that good in the first place.  With the popularity of superhero movies and Marvel owning the rights to most of them, it seems logical that you should cash in while the getting is good.  The only drawback is that nobody wanted a Fantastic Four movie in the first place let alone a reboot.  The creative wizards at Fox decided to set their Fantastic Four movie apart. ‘How?’ you ask?.  By making Johnny Storm (The Human Torch) black.  This gimmick will set it apart from the other abominable Fantastic Four movies, so as to get confused with this (most likely) abominable Fantastic Four movie.

Fans are up in arms over this change of race and certain plot points.  Instead of being siblings, the Human Torch and the Invisible Woman are now step siblings….or half-siblings….cousins?  Who knows?  No, wait, I think he’s the adopted brother.  Fans claim this is a mockery of the source material (which isn’t all that great anyway).  Now matter  how you slice it, the Fantastic Four is lame.  Modernize it if you will, make the Human Torch black (African-American), make Doctor Doom Mr. Fantastic’s college buddy, and cast Stan Lee as Galactus (that would be better than the gaseous cloud he was in the sequel) it changes nothing.

The studio head at Fox decides his next brilliant move for his superhero franchises.
The studio head at Fox decides his next brilliant move for his superhero franchises.

However, I have the sinking feeling that this cash grab will make enough to warrant a sequel (winces).  I think they can bust out friggin’ Mole Man for that (winces harder). Cripes!!!  I bet the people who thought this reboot would be a good idea are also the same buffoons who thought we wanted a Daredevil reboot/sequel/prequel (whatever the hell they are promoting it as).

Instead of rebooting series which aren’t even ten years old, how about coming up with something we haven’t seen before?  Or just dig up characters that no one has thought about in 30 years like Machine-Man (yes folks, he is an actual character). With a snazzy name like that, the marketing sells itself.

For those of you who like non-rebooted ideas, check out my online shop:


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